1. at McDonalds in Woodstock*
crazy lady: i want this hamburger WELL done.
counter girl: uh, ok.
crazy lady: you aren't listening to me. well done. WELL DONE!
counter girl (smothering a snicker): ok, well, don't worry, it will be cooked.
crazy lady: I WANT IT WELL DONE! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELL DOOOOOOOOOOOOONE.
once crazy lady leaves...
me: whoa.
counter girl: this isn't the fucking keg.
2. in the kitchen last night
me (eyeing the milk suspiciously): how old is this?
mom: i just opened the bag 2 seconds ago.
me: ok, but, like... how OLD is it? didn't i buy that before i went to kitchener last week?
mom (exasperated): it's fine! it was in a sealed bag! it's like i just opened a new cow!
* i have no good justification for entering this establishment, i admit it.
